WHY DON'T I WRITE LIKE I KNOW I SHOULD?

Why don’t I write?

Why do I know I have stuff to share but I hold back?

I find everything and anything to do but express what I know I need to. I started this blog from the insistence of my caring husband telling me to put myself “out there”. The mere thought of such exposure made me want to run and hide. In hind sight it was probably to aim me in a direction and stop me from firing all over the room like a loose cannon. Yet the idea of putting myself “out there” for every Dick and his dog to take pot shots at just ain’t my style. It conjured up thoughts of me joining the global blog club out there, loosing myself in a sea of over exposed hurting people just trying to make sense of their lives, experiences, pain, and perhaps walk on this earth. Then trying to write from a spiritual point of view…well, let’s just say that adds another whole dimension. Do we really need another Christian perspective on why God’s way’s are not ours. Why very little makes sense, but onward Christian soldiers marching into the dark…. Oh I am cynical on a bad day. Forgive me. It is the place I find myself on this day.

As I said, I can do cynical, and when it comes to all this internet/blog space and a generation that seem to have gone overboard once again even in this area of expressing and sharing to the world, I find it so mass produced like everything else surrounding us. Nothing is sacred anymore. Whatever happened to authenticity, raw talent, or the hard working making it, instead of everyone is now able to place themselves on the cover of a glossy magazine with a click of their mouse into facebook kingdom.

Which brings me to my motive for sharing, am I just another “wanna be” seeking fame and fortune, or is it that search for significance in an ever increasing insignificant world? Like I said, nothing sacred anymore, air your wares, do the necessary to get noticed, turn yourself into a star even if Hollywood won’t. Like that ever helped those people.

Baring all this in mind and my cynical approach to the whole system, I am then faced with the question of what to share. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t have an overflowing abundance of emotional, spiritual and mental stuff going on, but then again, who doesn’t. What right does that give me to place myself out there. I mean just because on an average day I sometimes feel I might either explode or implode, fighting to not claim one of the abundant titles this generation seem to crutch…. oops I mean clutch to from OCD to ADD, trying not to believe myself a good case for meds. Does that give me a right to share? My husband would say so with a resounding "Yes!", because he is the one dealing with the wall bouncing antics in our house when expression doesn’t take place.

Well, I suppose it is time to put the cynical aside and stop trying to use it as yet another cop out to not share, because according to popular actions out there, I don’t need a right to share, it’s called freedom of speech and best I take part in it while it’s still around. Everyone is doing it, bees do it, birds do it, even the uneducated fleas are doing it. So here goes, let me do it, stop the many questions and reasons why I shouldn’t and face the real reasons why I don’t. My last question, and probably the most important is: What is relevant? Because perhaps what’s relevant to me won’t be to you, but is this reason enough to not become a blogger and share to my hearts content? No it’s not! That’s the beauty of this blog space, not only are we humans large in numbers on this earth, but we are a diverse species, communicating with the whole globe leaves you in a place to hit someone somewhere with something. So dare I deny you my hit for the day….